Balance Cock Bugle
Horological satire – sometimes it’s good to laugh at ourselves
Man Who Called $3,500 Seiko a “Cash Grab” Pre-Orders $18,300 Blancpain, Cites “Heritage”
SCHAUMBURG, IL โ Kevin Peabody, who spent much of 2023 informing several watch forums that Seiko had “completely lost the plot” by charging $3,500 for the SJE093, has placed a fully paid pre-order for an $18,300 Blancpain Fifty Fathoms Bathyscaphe. Peabody originally condemned the SJE093 across four forums, comparing its price to 11 watches he did not own and three movements he had never handled. “Three and a half grand for a Seiko is insane,” he wrote at the time. “At that price, you’re paying for the name.” According to Peabody, paying $18,300 for a Blancpain does not present the same problem. “You’re looking at specifications. I’m looking at provenance,” he explained. “Blancpain invented the dive bezel in 1953. Do you know what Seiko was doing in 1953?” Peabody did not know what Seiko was doing in 1953. He confirmed that the 37.4mm Blancpain appealed to him for its compact dimensions, restrained styling, and historical connection to early dive watches. Asked whether those were the same qualities he had dismissed when evaluating the Seiko, Peabody shook his head. “You really can’t compare them.” Peabody then compared them for approximately 25 minutes. “The finishing is on another level,” he said. “You really have to handle one.” Peabody has not handled one. Forum members later resurfaced several of his old posts, including “$3,500 SEIKO LOL,” “Seiko Fanboys Will Defend Anything,” and “At What Point Is This Just Stockholm Syndrome?” Peabody dismissed the posts as outdated. “My collection has matured.” He also clarified that the 62MAS was “basically downstream from Blancpain.” “So really, I’m buying the original.”
Man Who Called $3,500 Seiko a “Cash Grab” Pre-Orders $18,300 Blancpain, Cites “Heritage”
SCHAUMBURG, IL โ Kevin Peabody, who spent much of 2023 informing several watch forums that Seiko had “completely lost the plot” by charging $3,500 for the SJE093, has placed a…
Local Man Arrested at Food Lion After Nude Tantrum, Claims Father Transformed into Disapproving Wristwatch
“Dad, stop judging me! I’m doing my best!” Witnesses reported that Thompson then proceeded to sprint down the canned goods aisle, pursued by an unseen entity he described as his father-turned-wristwatch.
Florida Man Swims with Rolex Submariner
FT LAUDERDALE, FL โ Last week, several witnesses confirmed the sighting of a middle-aged man frequent the shores of Cannon Beach, a stretch of sandbar notably adjacent to the Atlantic…
Proud Watch Owner Announces Latest Acquisition (Coinciding with Son’s Birth).
LOS ANGELES, CA — Last Friday, Dave Nelson was all too eager to broadcast a milestone nine months in the making. “New watch alert! Finally, super thrilled to share my…
Iron: The Next New Luxury?
LE BRASSUS, SWITZERLAND โ Bronze watch fans be advised, there’s a new base metal on the horizon (with oxidation properties that could put your Oris to shame). As the latest…
Fans Defend Panerai’s Abuse with Zealous Indifference
New York, NY — While not entirely unique for the industry, Panerai is a brand that continues to challenge the loyalty of its followers with an approach that’s as controversial…
Thin-Wristed Man Scammed by โMiracle Pillsโ Promising Size Enhancement
One could say Louis Schmidt is an optimist. However they, too, might likely be conned into a similar fate of relinquishing several thousand dollars in hopes of โa guaranteed growth…
Public Provocateur Assaulted over Speedmaster Claims
Last week on the UC Berkley campus, student Andres Rivera was physically assaulted in response to his provocative choice of words sprawled across a poster board, โSpeedmasters are novelties.ย Change my Mind.โ
Ralph Lauren Challenges JLC Reverso for Bragging Rights to Iconic Polo Watch
The fashion mogul has built an empire, but will that be enough to produce a watch that rates more “likes” on Instagram?
Forum Contributor Claims Dive Watch โSucksโ because, โThe lume isnโt good enough.โ
As a “veteran of dive watch reviews for over three years,” the Kansas-City native and part-time blogger is no slouch when it comes to immortalizing his opinions for his thirty-six subscribers.
Man develops Chew Addiction, Facial Hair, and PTSD after Prolonged G-Shock Exposure.
Stultz is among a small but growing population to experience side effects after prolonged exposure to their Casio G-Shock, the timepiece of choice for the “go-anywhere do-anything” tactical professional.ย For him, and select individuals who share his affliction, the shift in change can be felt by others in its wake.
H. Moser & Cie. Jumps the Shark with โthe Fonzโ Minute Repeater
Unveiled yesterday, controversial watch brand H. Moser & Cie. has taken cheeky clichรฉs to the next level with their latest release, a tribute to ABCโs beloved sitcom Happy Days.











