the balance cock bugle

In the wake of COVID-19 preparation, America’s populace learned a valuable lesson in emergency preparedness; purchase all the toilet paper you can. With news that Rolex has been leaking updates for their latest releases. Enthusiasts everywhere are primed for soiling themselves.

Having come across a flattering photo of Ryan Reynolds in a Google search for “celebrity watch brands,” Melvin Greenberg, 41, was convinced, “This is the one. This is the one that will finally get me laid.”

“I don’t understand. I told Mr. Baker that it was time to surface,” Ramon, their tour guide explained “But he just kept looking at his watch and saying something about ISO standards and asking me if my Apple Watch was ISO COSC.”