NEW YORK, NY – Coming this fall, the Horological Society of New York (HSNY)—the world’s oldest non-profit dedicated to watch education—will be expanding on their curriculum to include an elective that’s as important to the Swiss as it is dismissed by the Americans—Terminology Enunciation 101.

René Ramis, HSNY’s Senior Instructor, was careful to articulate each vowel as he signed the accents across open air. “Tourbillon… côtes de Genève… ébauche… guilloche… These aren’t vending machine snacks. They are culturally significant descriptors that speak to a larger language of purpose… an art historique. This might be too difficult for Americans to understand, but every time you butcher ‘rattrapante,’ you lash the very essence of the industry’s heartbeat.” He took a moment to remove his glasses and massaged his eye lids. “Just as you would never crack walnuts with the blunt ends of your Winchesters, please extend to us the same courtesy.”

The course, which includes a four hour workshop that will tour through venues of select cities, will incorporate an introduction to the French alphabet, Latin etymology, common “do’s and don’ts,” and case studies where diction for poor word choice has resulted in historical treaty failures. Tuition fees start at five hundred dollars, separate from course literature—“a bargain considering the depths of cultural exposure.”

With spaces already filling fast, HSNY has been plainspoken to declare “attendance is a privilege.” As such, they reserve the right to dismiss participants who intend to continuously wield choice language and profanities—including any mention of “Casio or G-Shock.”

“It is the mission of the Society to sequester the cycle of perverted pronunciation across all platforms—I cannot express enough the amount of damage caused by podcasts, alone,” Ramis continued. “Even a pandemic’s spread results in some kind of attrition. Alas, for the likes of Jaeger LeCoultre and Audemars Piguet, no such mercy shall ever be granted.”

Keeping in mind the expensive course fees and ability to share by Zoom, the rationale for HSNY’s cost is likely to come in question. Unfazed, Ramis maintains, “Education remains paramount to our core ethos. The Society has even negotiated discounts through sponsors to supplement fees—including ten percent off to all who purchased a travel clock through the Hodinkee shop.”

Leave a Comment