Merritt Island, FL—In what may be the biggest watch news since the advent of quartz, NASA has finally located the fabled Omega Speedmaster worn by Buzz Aldrin as he took his first steps on the moon back in 1967. Like many other grail discoveries it was recovered through happenstance—however this time, within one of NASA’s many neglected warehouses after the Apollo Space program dissolved its assets in 1973.
“How do you create a Space Force out of nothing?” Major Anthony Price proposed. “The short answer is, ‘You can’t.’ But we did have $152 billion-worth of first generation tech archived from fifty years ago—including participants’ personal effects. Who am I to justify throwing out some astronaut’s billion-dollar Atari?”
The Research Commander heaved a dusty locker on top of the counter and fumbled through its contents. “Let’s see… you got a lava lamp… John Glen’s brass knuckles… Armstrong’s black light posters… pet rocks… and here’s another box of women’s underwear addressed to Alan Shepard.” Price slapped a strip of duct tape over the lid and scrawled Smithsonian across the side. “You just never know what you’ll come across but that’s part of the fun here.”
Second Lieutenant Mark Bradley recalls the moment that the Speedmaster was first recovered. “One second you’re sifting through pipe cleaners and gold tin foil for that next lunar module part, then BAM—some old watch gets in the way of you trying to reach for the googly eyes. I figured, ‘Hey, gear adrift is a gift!’ but when I realized it wasn’t a G-Shock I figured, ‘what’s the point.’ Plus, you gotta wind that sh*t every day.”
While Aldrin’s watch was last believed to be transported to Washington DC, escorts were unable to determine its whereabouts upon arrival. The infamous ordeal prompted NASA to recover all Speedmasters from the Space program’s participants—resulting in the collection of Aldrin’s original serialized model. “I’m not sure whether I should be admitting this,” Price concluded. “But the implication here is one of the other astronauts probably swapped out Buzz’s watch just to get a rise out of the guy.” The edge of his mouth curled into a smile, “I’ll bet you he was totally pissed.”
Now that the Speedmaster is back in NASA’s possession, it is still unclear as to what will be their next plans for display or on whose wrist it would worn. Part of Aldrin’s Ambassador agreement with Omega stipulated that he must return to the watch to their rightful ownership if ever provided the opportunity. To do so would only further the rumors that Elon Musk has Omega in his sights—a combative retort to Mark Zuckerberg’s recent acquisition of Rolex.
Damon is based out of the Bay Area, where he’s a black sheep among Apple Watch loyalists. Having served as a Combat Engineer with the USMC, he believes a true field watch’s success is measured by how closely it compares to a “G-Shock.” Nonsensically, a background in design has guided his preference toward higher craft, as he struggles to become the lifestyle his watch tastes more closely reflect.